Sunday, December 5, 2010

Top 20 Most Embarrassing NBA Trading Cards

Some of sports greatest moments are captured on little pieces of cardboard, but sometimes it seems that the card manufacturers are just screwing with the players.  Here at Bear Bones Sports we've compiled a list of what we believe to be the top 20 most embarrassing trading card photos.  Some cards feature legendary players while others are of players that you've never heard of and make you wonder how they ever made it past kindergarten.  We hope you enjoy!  Please feel free to comment at the bottom of this post.


#20

This card features a very awkward dive by Dikembe Mutombo, but also pictured is Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, some token Bulls big man from the 90's and the fantastic Steve Kerr.

 #19

You don't remember Mike Gminiski?  We'll we don't either!  It appears he doesn't remeber the back of his own hand either!  This harry ape played in the mid 90's.  How did he make the NBA?  Our guess, his wonderful hair!

#18

Mugsy Bogues seems to a little lost in this photo.  Not much to say here, just funny.  Sweet cameo in Space Jam!

#17

This one is more about what he looks like now compared to his playing days with the Spurs.  The Doc sure has let himself go!

#16

This card captures the essence of Manute Bol... awkward.

#15

Chris Dudley must just be Bob Saget's alias.  Who knew the lead in Full House got game?

#14

I think the philosophy in the 90's was if you were tall, white and had a sweet hair do you could play center in the NBA.  Refer to #19.

#13

Either Mr. Murray has something horribly wrong with his eye or he's struggling not to have a "movement" on the court.


#12

Look at Bob Sura...isn't he adorable?  This must've been some form of Rookie hazing in the 90's because every Upper Deck rookie card from this year features the player posing for a glamor shot with a ladder.  More to come latter.

#11

For some reason Shaq looks terrified in this picture.  Maybe it's because the guy in the red seems to be rubbing his junk all over Shaq Diesel's hip.  I wonder if right after this Shaq busted out some of his patented Shaq-fu.

#10

We do not know who Fred Roberts is, but we do know that he has a crazy unibrow.  Was this his tactic to scare away defenders?




#9

Who makes this face when making a pass?

#8

This guy appears to not know how to even hold a basketball, forget about dribbling!  Maybe Magic could show him a few things.

#7

Look at the cute rookie!  Oh wait, thats Rasheed Wallace!  He looks so happy and angelic...maybe this photo is what made him so angry.

#6

It appears something horrible is going on directly behind Mr. Haley.

#5

Lucious is either about to cry or this is once again a player trying to not have a "movement" on the hardwood.

#4

MOST UNFORTUNATE NAME EVER!  Frank Brick House-ki.  The back of the card says his dad played for the Steelers... definitely a better football name.

#3
Sorry the image is messed up, but the card says that Darius Miles is the second coming of Kevin Garnett.  I think it's safe to say that Miles' career didn't pan out the way they thought it would at Topps.

#2

Who knew Dirk was so graceful!  This is a rookie card to be proud of without a doubt.  It appears they had Mr. Nowitzki jump on a trampoline with a basketball for this shot.

#1

That's right, his airness dressed up as a grandma.  How they ever got MJ to do this in his prime we'll never know.

composed by: Dennis Burkett

Saturday, December 4, 2010

"Bird" Hunting

It has often been said that a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.  Well if that is the case what happened to Indiana State when they had Larry Bird? and where and when will the next great white basketball player come from?  Well since it has been 30 years since Bird broke into the NBA and took the league by storm.  I will do a quick wrap-up of Larry's stats and the anointed ones who have failed trying to replace him.  Then the focus will be on the search for all players in college or currently in high school now who have a chance at successfully emulating the great Larry Legend.

In 1977 Larry Bird enrolled at little known Indiana State(Terre Haute, IN).  The hick from french lick story starts prior to his first season at ISU where he famously posted a 32.8 points a game scoring average and took a 13-12 ball club to a 25-3 record and a trip to the NIT, and later a 33-0 season where the Sycamores would eventually lose to Magic Johnson and the Spartans in 1979 becoming National Runner-up.  His legend begins with his disregard for Bobby Knight and Indiana University where he would drop out in the middle of his first semester there. 

The Recruitment chronicles:  According to Seth Davis's When March Went Mad, Larry didn't say a whole lot when it came to being recruited.  Larry was a senior in 1974 and he wanted to go to Kentucky, but was not offered a scholarship.  When he was being recruited by Indiana Bob Knight asked Bird who else he was considering.  Bird had replied that he had some interest in Indiana State, Knight retorted with "well if you're considering attending there than you shouldn't bother coming to Indiana."  Eventually Knight would offer Bird a scholarship and Bird signed in April.  When Bird arrived at IU he felt isolated and did not like Knight's personality.  This along with a 60 dollar fee for a bowling class he was taking caused bird to drop out.  When Bird got back to French Lick he would eventually take a job with French Lick's street department.  During this time Larry joined an AAU team that was based out of Mitchell, Indiana.  This of course drew college recruiters to his games, but Larry brushed them off.  Larry was not considering attending school at the time, he was in his element.  He loved his job and loved the AAU team he was on.  This was enough competition for him at the time. That was until he was visited by then Indiana State's assistant coach Bill Hodges.  Hodges went on a wild goose chase when he went to go sign Larry in French Lick, IN.  He saw the 6'9" kid walking out with his granny from a laundromat.  They had a talk.  Larry told Hodges if you want to sign a player sign Kevin Carnes he would have been a great college ball player.  Hodges then said something like that's what people will say about you.  2 more visits later and Larry committed to Indiana State and well you know the rest.  Larry Legend almost never happened.

To wrap up the prestige that is Larry Bird let me give you his career stats/awards:
NCAA Naismith Player of the Year 1979.
1980 NBA Rookie of the Year.
12 time NBA All-Star
3 straight NBA MVP's
Won a All-Star MVP, Season MVP, and Finals MVP in the same season.
On the 1992 and original Dream Team ( Olympic Gold Medalist)
NBA career scoring average 24.3ppg.  88.6% from the foul line and 10 rpg.

As an NBA exec. Bird has continued to search for players who emulate him. He traded for Troy Murphy and signed Josh McRoberts. Both of whom are from Indiana, about 6'9" and hustle like Larry.  Neither can do all the things Bird can, but McRoberts hustle and work ethic remind you of glimpses of Bird. 

Larry Bird Impostors:

Ever since the Magical season of 1978-1979 the Media has looked to find the next Bird wonder.  It's hard to find a duplicate diamond in the rough granted the story that came behind the Hick from French Lick.  However there have been several players who have failed to live up to the hype.  This section will entail the list of impostors and a description of the comparison and their stat lines. Also a rating out of 10 where 10 means Larry Bird clone and a 1 means biggest Bird bust.

Eddie Bird-- 2/10
Brother of Larry Bird, set record for most 3 pointers in a career at Indiana State with 185 three's.  He should have made more, but his teams sucked it up, and Tates locke didn't like his style of play.  Eddie's best season statistically was his freshman year where he lead the Sycamores in scoring with 15.3ppg.  He showed some promise but played like Larry's little brother.  Eddie played from 1987-1991.  His Sycamores never had a winning record, but he was a fan favorite.  I believe Eddie was only 6'3" compared to Larry being 6'9".  Eddie is now the the City parks superintendent for the city of Terre Haute.

Danny Manning--5/10
I know this is a stretch, and he doesn't fit the white player category.  However when Manning was in college he drew Bird comparisons.  he was similar in height 6'10" and weighed in at 230lbs.  He was slow like Larry but was very skilled at the game.  He won the Naismith Player of the Year award and the National Championship with Kansas.  His team was just 21-11 heading into the 1988 tourney, but his team kept on winning and they were nicknamed "Danny and the Miracles." This was a similar vibe to Larry Bird and his rag tag bunch of Sycamores.  Then, Danny was drafted by the Clippers and was doomed for failure.  His rookie year he tore his ACL, and only had one season where he averaged more than 20ppg.  Danny made the All-Star game twice in '93 and '94 and won the Sixth Man Award in 1998.

Christian Laettner --4/10
You might as well call this guy "Joe College."  Laettner dominated at Duke, was 6'11" and is most known for his game winning shot with 1.8 seconds on the clock beating the amazing Kentucky team.  He averaged a pedestrian 16.6ppg and 7.8rpg in Bird standards.  Laettner won the 1992 Naismith Player of the Year award as well.  Laettner was on the Dream Team with Bird, which is kind of a joke.  Laettner does have the Duke record for best 3-point percentage with 48.5% but that is where the comparison ends.  He made it 13 years in the NBA, but was just a role player.  His career scoring average was 13.3ppg and was drafted 3rd in the 1992 NBA draft behind Shaq and Alonzo Morning.  He made the 1992-93 All-Rookie team and that was it for his awards category.  He did not have the basketball IQ that Bird had, which is ironic since he went to Duke.

Keith Van Horn--3/10
A 6'10" white player who played for the Utah Utes.  Rick Majerus's favorite player, who only hoped he had a Bird like player.  In 1997 ESPN named hime College Basketball Player of the Year.  He was WAC player of the year for 3 straight seasons.  Keith had his best year as a senior where he averaged 22ppg and 9.5rpg.  This was similar to Bird but not close, anyway the comparison here is that they came from a mid-major conference and went deep into the tourney.  Their record was 29-4 and they finished #2 overall in the final AP poll.  Van Horn was drafted #2 overall and played his first few seasons with the Nets.  He was very popular early on but fizzled and faded away into obscurity (not so Bird like).  His best overall season was 1999 where he lead his team in scoring with 21.8ppg and had 8.5 rpg.  His career numbers are 16ppg and 7 rpg.  No rings , or MVP's.  Fail.

Wally "World" Szczerbiak 1/10
The pride of Miami(OH).  Took his 10th seeded Redhawks to the sweet 16 in 1999.  His senior year he averaged 24.2ppg and 8.5rpg.  This did not translate to the NBA. He was drafted 6th overall in '99 by the T'Wolves and he made the all-star game in 2002 playing 2nd fiddle to Kevin Garnett.  2nd fiddle says it all.  Biggest indidvidual award: Rookie game MVP for the sophomores in 2001.

Kyle Korver 1/10
Played in the same conference as Bird, The Missouri Valley.  Korver played for Creighton from '99-2003 and is known as Dana Altman's coach's pet.  He was drafted by the 76er's in the 2nd round of 2003 NBA draft.  He is 6'7" and set some mean screens and had a deadly 3 point shot.  He now plays for the bulls and is has made a role in being a 3 point assassin. His senior year he had a 17.8 ppg scoring average along with 6.5 rebounds a game, and his team won 29 games.  Fun player to watch, but not at all on the same level as Bird, and has yet to be acquired by the Pacers and that says a lot.

Taylor Coppenrath--3/10
Vermont's pride and joy.  The beast from American East.  He won three straight player of the year awards for this conference and won 3 consecutive championships as well.  His career's biggest achievement was knocking off Syracuse in the first round of the NCAA tournament.  He was the best player ever to suit up for the Catamounts.  He was a big 6'9" kid with shaggy blondish hair and dominated a small ball conference. That is the comparison.  He career average for ppg was 21.4.  He signed a summer league deal with the Celtics in 2005 and is currently playing in Italy.

Adam Morrison 6/10
Was barely recruited out of high school and a diabetic, Morrison became a famous Gonzaga player.  He is 6'9" and his senior year he averaged 28.1ppg which is the closest to Bird as any of these guys.  He had the shot, hustle, vision etc. that Bird had. He even had long floppy hair and a very thin mustache.  His emotion was up there with Bird as he cried when he was eliminated in the sweet 16 in 2006.  Gonzaga is an upset specialist from the West Coast Conference but the Morrison years were unmatched.  in the NBA Morrison has been an epic fail where he was drafted 3rd overall by the Charlotte Bobcats.  he averaged 11ppg as a rookie and shot a terrible 38% from the field.  He was replaced by undrafted Matt Carroll in the starting lineup.  He injured is ACL and has been shipped to the Lakers and Celtics as an after thought.  His career scoring average is a lowly 1.7 ppg.  He was great in college and an utter failure in the pro's and probably will have to go overseas if he wants to resurrect his NBA career.

Gordon Hayward--2/10
Took the Butler Bulldogs to NCAA Runner-up in 2010, missed a shot at the buzzer to beat Duke.  Had a spectacular sophomore season and went pro.  Not the best shooter from the 3 point line and is currently struggling with the Utah Jazz in his rookie season.

Jason Kaylor 0/10
A 6'2" guard who played varsity ball at Center Grove.  He rained down three's in the MIC and only missed 4 free throws his entire career.  Decided to pursue golf at Franklin college instead of basketball.  Is a intramural legend at Franklin.

Honarable mention:
Brent Barry-- journey man, son of Hall of Famer Rick Barry, 1996 NBA Slam Dunk Champ and former 3-point shoot out champ.
Mike Dunleavy/Mike Miller-- Both about 6'7" Miller is the better shooter.

Future next Bird's:

Kevin Love-- outcome unknown
Minnesota Timberwolves starting PF played a year at UCLA.  has the 6'9" to 6'10" height range. rebounds with authority. Double Double's are expected.  Was a one and done-er in college so the verdict is still out.  If the T'Wolves make it out of the first round of the playoffs push the hype machine button.  Currently averaging 19ppg and 15rpg and has been developing a 3-point shot.

Kyle Singler--

a 6'9" power forward from Duke.  He has a deadly shot from downtown and has yet to declare for the draft.  He was 4th overall in his high school recruiting class and has a game that reminds us of Bird however, his #'s aren't up there but he might be a surprise in the league.  Has won NCAA national championship.

Justin Gant--
Currently a senior at Terre Haute North High School.  Has signed letter of intent to play for Indiana State.  He is a 3 star recruit according to scout.com.  He averages 17ppg and 8 rpg in the MIC conference which is the toughest conference in Indiana.  He is 6'9" 200 lbs. He is a bit wiry and needs to work on his outside shot.  Is a better passer and ball handler then your realize, and is quick for a tall guy.  Probably won't average 20ppg at ISU but only time will tell.

Andy Smeathers--
A 6'6" shooter from Center Grove high school.  Has a decent stroke from outside and has committed to Butler.  Potentially the next Gordon Hayward.

Cody Zeller--
A 6'10" senior from Washington, IN.  Is the #4 player in the nation for the class of 2011.  He has committed to Indiana and is sure to draw Bird comparisons as he is from a small town and is going to be the star for Indiana the next couple of years.  If he can develop his basketball intangibles and outside shot he has the best shot in this young class to be Bird the second coming.

Tyler Zeller-- North Carolina PF/C 7'0" 250 lbs. Junior
Brother of phenom Cody and former Mr. Basketball Luke.  currently averaging 14ppg and 7 rpg.  Needs to improve his passing.  Coming off his best game of his career after beating #10 Kentucky with 27 points 11 rebounds 5 blocked shots and one hell of a finish on an oop.  Has been plagued by injuries...

...as this season progresses I will add a few more names to this list.

Professed by Adam "Bones" Burkett